Thursday, October 30, 2008

Facing brain surgery


(Toad in a puddle block)

My minds in a muddle,
Like a toad in a puddle.
Who knows not just what he should do.

My life is a thread
Colored yellow
Who know what I'll have to go through.

My quilt is all finished,
Connected and quilted.

My mind is quite calm now
On faith peace was built.

Tomorrow may bring me
A new song to sing Thee.
My trust Lord I must put in you.


(applique dragon over landscape)

The day comes closer-
Black dragon hovers-
Fear, raises it's head .
The shadow covers my landscape

Be still, content
Look to the light.
The moon and the stars shine over thee.

All will be well

Allan's Quilt


We shall overcome
step by step
Thy will shall be done
step by step by step
If we but have faith
step by step
And do all Thy saith
step by step.
Lord be by my side
step by step
Help strengthen my stride
step by step
Till my trials shall cease
step by sep
And I shall have peace.

The Family Quilts

I love quilting, and I love writing poetry. When I started making quilts for members of my family I decided to send them a poem too. These are the poems for the "Family Quilts".

These poems were written after the deaths of my husband, and son.

(double nine patch)

Nothingness is gone
My heart is yours forever,
Because you made me
Need you
As youwill always need me.

Her Share
(star sampler)

She's had her share
Of Sadness,
They say
And I
But Wonder
Who Decides
How large is my share,
How small is yours.
What is the greater price

When my heart freezes
From grief, and Sorrow,
And Pain,
At least--
At least someday I know
The sun will shine again.

(Amish Roman stripe)

Dream dreams-
Reaching for the stars-
Hoping for all the world has to give.
But sometimes,
Our hopes are unfulfilled,
Our Dreams broken.

All my life
As different dreams have been broken,
You have beeen my rainbow
Shining through the storms of my life.

Till now
Though bent
You still shine brightly
Through the darkness

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Rene's words

I like the rhythm of the city,
The slam bump of the garbage trucks--
Honking horns--
Train whistles--
Sirens as an emergency is settling.
Its so different from the silent
Desert mountains.
Could I return to the
Crackling thunder;
The lonely coyote call;

I’ve never spent November
In Virginia
Grey clouds thicken the
Sky like a soft blanket.
Quiet enfolds the landscape
Moisture hangs in the air--
Sliding slowly
To the ground
In expectation
Of things to come.


She slipped the photos of the children
Into the garbage.
Looking around the cafeteria
She pictured the tug-of-war of
Family Night
Miniature copies of their ancestors
Were fighting for attention.
Then laughing hysterically she
Walked out into the night

Though you are my sister,
You’re also my friend.
The love that you show me
I hope never ends.

The hard times that we share
The good times, the fun—
The blessings God gives me--
I’m glad you are one!


I need a hug today.
I sometimes feel this way
When will this sadness end
I think I need a friend

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

October 2008

“Judge not that ye be not judged!” That scripture kept going through my mind as I sat in the courtroom listening to the jury being questioned, briefed and sworn in.

“You have been requested to serve on a jury. Service on a jury is one of the most important responsibilities that you will exercise as a citizen of this Commonwealth. It is your responsibility to listen to the evidence presented at a trial, decide the facts, apply the facts to the law as instructed by the judge, and render a fair and impartial verdict.” “It’s the law!” The sheriff told us.

As I looked at the defendant, I thought of his mother and how disappointed she must be about the choices her son had made. Would that influence me? Looking at the Lawyers I felt angry that they could each ask questions twisted to support their side. Could I do it? Could I be fair, impartial, listen to the facts? Could I make a judgment based solely on the law?

It was a drunk driving case. I come from a state that has the highest incidents of repeat offenders. People are arrested seven, eight, nine times and still driving. People are dying on the streets! Something has to be done! I thought I could. The jury was selected. I was excused. Then I knew that in this case I couldn’t have been impartial. I was grateful and came back the next day for a different trial.
But it was a good learning experience and interesting .

On the other hand, sometimes we are quick and willing to judge those around us. Do they talk funny? Do they dress without style? Have they said something that offends us? In our Hymn book, the hymn “Lord I Would Follow Thee”, tells us,. . .

“Who am I to judge another, When I walk imperfectly.
In the quiet heart is hidden Sorrow that the eye can’t see.
Who am I to judge another, Lord I would follow thee.

I would be my brother’s keeper. I would learn the healer’s art.
To the wounded and the weary, I would show a gentle heart.
I would be my brother’s keeper. Lord I would follow thee”. . . .

As women, we have been given a gentle heart. It’s part of our gender Elder David A. Bednar says, “Gender in large measure defines who we are, why we are here upon the earth, and what we are to do and become.”
I would like to be my brother’s keeper, to heal the wounded and the weary.
My daughter, like her grandmothers, wants to right the worlds wrongs.
I don’t judge them. I appreciate them for following their convictions.

As election time approaches we are thinking more, I hope, about our country and what our expectations and responsibilities are. My challenge this month is threefold.
If you are able, learn and prepare to vote responsibly for your country. Obey the laws, and be merciful to your fellow men.
Have a good month.


When I look towards
the cloudy sky--
White caps in the blue,
I think of sailboats
In the sea.
The waves churning with the wind.

I imagine gulls sailing
Above the water,
The music of their calling,
A harsh note in the
Beauty of the day.
It makes me wish
That I could fly.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

September 2008

Who are you named for?
In Helaman 5:4-7 we read:
4 And it came to pass that Nephi had become weary because of their iniquity; and he yielded up the judgment-seat, and took it upon him to preach the word of God all the remainder of his days, and his brother Lehi also, all the remainder of his days;
5 For they remembered the words which their father Helaman spake unto them. And these are the words which he spake:
6 Behold, my sons, I desire that ye should remember to keep the commandments of God; and I would that ye should declare unto the people these words. Behold, I have given unto you the names of our first aparents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were good.
7 Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also written, even as it has been said and written of them.

Each of my siblings was named for another member of my parents families. I wasn’t! According to the story- I was named for two of my father’s students who were both smart and beautiful. It was hoped that I would be too. I think it would have been easier to be named after an aunt, uncle or grandparent with no expectations! Who were you named after? What qualities were your parents hoping you would gain. We named our daughter Laurel (after her grandma Laura) Rose (after her grandpa Ross) and Ann (after her aunt Lois Ann), but we call her Amanda which means much loved, because she is. And Laurel Amanda RoseAnn is an advocate for women’s rights, is much loved, enjoys debating anything, and is a wonderful teacher of children.

This morning, Labor Day, my husband took me to the Silver Diner for breakfast. We were talking about his co-workers and their cute younger wives. Teasingly I told him he was stuck with his old dumpy one. He said I was worth it. Isn’t he sweet. I asked him how long his mother’s first marriage lasted, and we started reminiscing about her and how little she had talked about her early adulthood. Suddenly he had an awestruck look on his face. He was amazed that he had a personal link to history over eighty years ago.
I have one through my grandmother to a time before computers, and cell phones; before automobiles, rockets and airplanes. Even I remember life before TV. My children refer to my life as “In the days of black and white.” As you talk to your parents and grandparents, do you have stories that go back eighty years or more?

Did you know that the Church is working on making finding your genealogy easier and faster to do? Do you know names and birthdates for your parents, grandparents and great grandparents? Do you want to know more? Many times in the last three years I’ve wished I could ask my mother a question about her life. But it is now too late.
If you’re still not ready to do the four generations of genealogy or have already done them, start with generation 1 – you. Start or continue with your journal. Who are you? Who were you named for? As I told my son when he left for Wisconsin, Remember who you are!


September Dreams

I rode on the back of a giant giraffe.
Up high in the air I giggled and laughed.
On the elephant’s back, as we lumbered along,
Happy birthday to you was the happiest song.
The camel said HUMPF as I slid to the ground,
In September, the zoo, in my dreams,
I am bound


August 2008

Last week I died and went to hell.
A friend and co-worker of my husband’s invited us to go to a concert/fundraiser for a friend of his who plays in a band. It sounded like a good thing to do and fun so innocently I went along.
What do I know! My daughter likes to go to clubs to dance, but I’ve never been .My son loves cool guitar music while I prefer country western and classical music. They’re good kids so it can’t be too bad !I’ve heard “newscasters” talking about Adam’s Morgan and what a fun and interesting part of DC it is.
Well ! I sat on a stool, in a dark, airless room; with red lights glowing on animal heads, teeth gnashing, People around me were pulsating to the music, wild grins on their faces. On the walls were paintings of naked men and women. The noise was loud and raucous in spite of the music.
All I could think about was the spacious building in Lehi’s dream where people were laughing and pointing at Lehi and his family(I Nephi 8) Thankfully my husband took pity on my distress and we left after an hour.
Sunday I sat in the chapel with light, windows, and white walls. People were smiling, and quietly greeting each other. Music was playing in the background. Peace! It was Heaven.
What is Heaven for you? Is it walking in a lush garden? Building sand castles at the beach with family? Listening to beautiful music? Climbing mountains in Italy? Even watching the light go on in the mind of that student who finally figured out the answer to a problem is a touch of Heaven.
As you choose your Heaven here on earth I’d like to remind you of one of our apostles.
Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: "We are to be creators in our own right—builders of an individual faith in God, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and faith in His Church. We are to build families and be sealed in holy temples. We are to build the Church and kingdom of God upon the earth. We are to prepare for our own divine destiny—glory, immortality, and eternal lives. These supernal blessings can all be ours, through our faithfulness" ("The Creation," Liahona, July 2000, 104–5; Ensign, May 2000, 86).
Best wishes for the month of August.



Swimming in the water
Jumping off their lily pads
Singing songs in laughter
Zapping dinner from the air,
Living life like they don’t care
Summer is a dandy time for

Sunday, October 12, 2008


Oh how I love
The hot, “dog days”
Of summer.”
Shimmering heat
Bouncing off the sidewalks.
Warm flower smells fill the air.
Moody Dark clouds lay sullenly
Wanting to fill the sky with streaks
Of light and thunder.
A season of wildness waiting to pounce.

July 2008

STRIVE FOR MORE Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way. Eileen CaddySpiritualist

What keeps you from believing that the universe is yours? Reach out, embrace it. I say, "the sky's the limit!" So get your bag, get your stuff, and head for the stars...I'll meet you out there. Maura Beatty

Sitting in front of me on my computer table is a polished white rock. I found it the last time I was in New Mexico. I had gotten a set of rocks for my twelve year old Sunday school class one year. Each different colored rock had a word on it; and I wanted them to use the rock to set a goal. Each rock had a different word on it, painted in gold. There was peace, happiness, work, faith, hope, prayer and others. My rock, the leftover one says vision. How can I incorporate vision into my life? At this stage of my life, what is there still to look forward too?

What a beautiful verification of the joys of life amid the sorrows I found in a book at the library.
I just finished reading Twenty Wishes by Debbie Macomber.
It is about four friends, widows, who got together to celebrate Valentines day. They decided to each make a list of twenty wishes that they had always wanted to do but may now be too late. These wishes ranged from having a pair of red cowboy boots, to a red convertible; dancing barefoot in the rain to going to Paris with someone they loved.
Writing down the wishes helped them to remember and plan on accomplishing their wishes. The point was also made that a goal was something you ought to do and a wish was something you’d like to do.
SO! If you had 20 wishes, what would you choose?
1. I wish I could play the piano
2. I wish I could skip under the Thames River in London from Greenwich to London. (Did that one with one son holding each hand)
3. I wish I could find my husband’s genealogy (so far I have only found his parents and maternal grandmother’s information).
4. I wish I could paint a picture.
5. I wish I could write a book.
6. I wish I could run around the block
7. I wish I could visit all fifty states. (Only Maine, North and South Dakota, and Alaska to go!)
8.I wish I could find a cookie recipe my dad says he use to make using oatmeal and marshmallow cream.
I would be interested to hear what your wishes would be.

Best Wishes,

Summer Days

Of what do you dream
On a warm summer day?
What kind of fun makes you smile?
Is it sailing, or swimming, or catching a fish?
Or eating ice cream from a cone or a dish?
Do you sit in the shade
And drink Lemonade ?
Does a book take you off in a dream?
For your birthday I know
Your day will just glow
And the sun on the water will gleam.
Wendy &Allan

Saturday, October 11, 2008

JUNE 2008

I’ve been reading about Zuni (a Southwestern Indian tribe)’s Fetishes this week. A fetish is a carved or found symbol used to center oneself while meditating and preparing for an activity.-- For example a hunt or a prayer, or a difficult activity. One of the times good for meditation, mentioned by the author, is while doing gardening. This reminded me of an experience I had the fall before we moved to Virginia. I had been out mowing the back lawn and lay down in the freshly cut grass, looking up into the blue sky. These words came to my mind and I wrote them down.

I Lay
In grass,
Newly mown;
Across the sky
I thought
Next year--
And heat,
Supposed to be Adventure.

You can tell I wasn’t very excited. I think I must be a
control freak. Going someplace new and unknown meant I wouldn’t be in control of my life.
Being clear across the country would give me less opportunity to advise and
help my children and the rest of my family. City traffic and apartment life
have also restricted my activities.
But today I went out into my city yard ( a large patio with 48 containers filled with flowers, vegetables and herbs. I found myself meditating about my life. in my garden.

Things I Learned in My Garden
1.Grass grows even in cement
2.Sometimes you can’t tell a weed from a flower until you
let it grow a little.
3.Weeds are easier to pull out if they have small roots.
4. Cats still try to camouflage themselves rolling on the cement,
But don’t get as dirty as when they roll in the dirt pile.
5. Good healthy plants take work, sun and lots of water.
6.Plants grow better if you prune them.

How can I apply the things I learned in my garden to my life?
The unexpected happens
We need to give situations and people a chance to see if we want them in our lives.
Sins are easier to get rid of before they grow big roots.
Look under the first layer before you judge
Life needs nurturing
Trials help us grow.
I have a Cosmos plant on my doorstep that was a volunteer. It grows in a crack in the cement. It reminds me of two things. My husband always tells me to “Bloom where I Am planted”. And a song I learned in Primary which admonishes us to brighten our little corner of the garden –try, try try (Little Purple Pansy)
President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985): “If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 15).
I hope this month you will take the time to focus, meditate and plan something to enrich your lives or the lives of other.
Wendy Hauer.


A breeze
Singing air
Music swinging through
Green grasses, flowering trees, leaves.
The songs we only dream of on cloudless, moonlit nights.
May your birthday wishes like May breezes sing songs into your heart.

May 2008

Since last month was “write a poem month”, I decided to see what May was. Lots of things happen in May. For example it is ‘Military Appreciation Month’,’ National Bike Month’, ‘National Hamburger Month’, ‘National Historic Preservation Month’, and ‘National Salad Month’. Also—May 4-10 is National pet week. Not only that, it is “Be kind to animals week”
My cat Maggie is now thirteen years old. I’m considering changing her name to Lassie. While packing for my last trip I was in the closet deciding what to take. The dryer was going. The TV news was on; and Maggie was MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWING. MAJOR STRESS!! I went out into the other room to see what she needed. Sure enough my cell phone had been ringing. I had a call from a strange New Mexico number. My daughter had lost her cell phone and all her numbers. She needed to talk to her dad. If I had not listened to “Lassie” I wouldn’t have been able to help. Once she had accomplished her duty, Maggie got into her bed and promptly went to sleep.
How often in life do we succumb to major stress and ignore the promptings of the Lassies in our lives?
Have you ever had a prompting you couldn’t explain? Was it a prompting from the Holy Spirit?
In the April conference Gerald Lund said, “Today I should like to speak on the importance of opening our hearts to the Holy Spirit.
After baptism we are confirmed and given the Holy Ghost. This is a supernal gift. The Holy Ghost comforts, teaches, warns, enlightens, and inspires us. Nephi put it very simply: “If ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do. We need the help of the Holy Ghost if we are to make our way safely through what the Apostle Paul called the “perilous times” in which we now live. Isn’t that something we all seek,—to be visited by the Holy Ghost, to have the Lord draw closer to us, to find joy and consolation in our lives. The heart is a tender place. It is sensitive to many influences, both positive and negative. It can be hurt by others. It can be deadened by sin. It can be softened by love. Early in our lives, we learn to guard our hearts. It is like we erect a fence around our hearts with a gate in it. No one can enter that gate unless we allow him or her to. Let us make it a part of our everyday striving to open our hearts to the Spirit. Since we are the guardians of our hearts, we can choose to do so. We choose what we let in or hold out. Fortunately the Lord is anxious to help us choose wisely.
My wish this month for you is to open your heart for inspiration whether it be from the Holy Ghost or from a Lassie in your life.
Much love
Wendy Hauer
So give that hamburger to your pet and have a salad while riding your bike and have a great May!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

April 2008

I am so excited! It is spring! And not only that, but April is National Write a Poem Month. I love to write poems. Every month I write a new poem for the Relief Society sister’s birthday cards. For April I decided to share and asked some of my favorite people to give me five syllables for the first line of the April poem with some interesting results. I not only got five syllables but a couple of complete poems.
“Spring Sings A fragrant song “
“Spring is for sharing”
“ Springtime is for love”
“Fragrant Hyacinths”
“Rainbow colored blooms”

"Green breaks through the dirt.
Though they bear a gentle face,
Once the juices start to race
Through shoots and stems, the flowers rise;
Although the soil really tries,
There is no way it can avert
That force that surely takes its place
When green breaks through the dirt."

There once was a rabbit named Ceril
Who thought that his life was in peril.
He cried when he ran
Into my frying pan
Our dinner last night was quite puerile.

Fragrant hyacinths
Rainbow of colored blooms
Golden daffodils
Heads lifted to the sun
Pansy faces
A fragrant song

Here are some forms I’ve never heard of which will be fun to play with. So it’s April! Write a Poem! Have a deviled egg! Make some chocolate chip cookies! Have a great month! SPRING IS FOR SHARING!
Pleiades: This is a modern form invented in 1999 by Craig Tigerman. The Pleiades, named after the constellation also known as the seven sisters from Greek mythology, consists of seven lines of seven syllables each. The title is one word, and each line starts with the same letter as the title.
Cadae: Another form based on counting syllables, the cadae follows the sequence of the first seven digits of Pi (pi = 3.141592). The first line consists of three syllables, the second one syllable, and so on. You could include several stanzas, or just one. Another variation would be to write three words for the first line, one word for the second line, etc….


The sun shines
After the Gloom
So it is still cold--
Spring is coming
Though the weekend
Is filled
With ice storms and
There’s always some
Sunshine In hearts that we

March 2008

I heard a report last week that two of our airlines have decided that one bag is enough for passengers to check. Therefore, a $25 charge will be made for each bag after that.

An anonymous writer stated that “Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.” I’m beginning to think this is a good idea.
In February we went back to New Mexico to see my dad and to continue the cleaning and deleting process of the last twenty five years of our lives. I thought about how hard it is to get rid of stuff. How hard to fix up and repair a home for sale. If we had been doing it continuously for the last twenty five years the physical, mental and financial hardships would be so much easier to deal with. One of the things that I found, and I still couldn’t part with was a 1972 Ensign magazine. In it was a story about a man who had many things he was going to do “Tomorrow”. One Sunday afternoon he was reading Alma 34; 33-34.
Dozing, he dreamed that he had died and gone to Heaven. He was taken to a beautiful building which was to be his new home. Looking around he saw that some places hadn’t been painted. Some walls were not finished. The roof was missing. The kitchen was beautiful but no food was available. He asked the angel with him, “What kind of place was this? I thought I was going to Heaven!” “Oh”! said the angel,. “We had this place especially done for you. We made everything here for you exactly by the blue prints you made while you were on earth. There is not a thing we can do about your situation. While on earth you gave every indication of liking to have everything done someday, and so you have inherited the Kingdom of Someday” We thought this is what you wanted. This is how you lived on earth!”
As we plan our daily lives, I hope we keep in mind what we want for Eternity.

“Some people procrastinate so much that all they can do is run around like firefighters all day—putting out fires that should not have gotten started in the first place.”—Nido Qubein

“Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.”—Mary Frances Berry

I asked my sister for an idea for my March letter on procrastination.
This is what she sent. Funny girl!

That's the only way you'll do it.
That's the only way its done.
Better Keep on moving
If you want to see the sun

Wendy Hauer