Merry Christmas

 

Last week my face Book page said that they had collected my Christmas pictures since I had become a member over ten years ago. However, as I looked at their collection, I became confused. They just didn’t look like pictures that I would take for Christmas. One picture was of my daughter making a fleece blanket. Another picture was of my nieces wedding at the St. George Temple. One was of a quilt I had made for one of my daughter’s bridesmaids. A picture followed of the flowers at the Denver temple. Next came a photo of my niece holding her brother’s new baby at my mother’s funeral. The last was a picture of my Dad and a dozen of his great grand- children in the summer time. What did these pictures have to do with Christmas? I wondered.

In my reading of the October General Conference talks of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shortly after, I read, Covenant Women in Partnership with God

By President Henry B. Eyring

“Becoming a covenant woman in partnership with God is how great and good daughters of God have always mothered, led, and ministered. Your call began when you were placed into mortality, in a place and time chosen for you by a God who knows you perfectly and loves you as His daughter. When you came out of the waters of baptism, you had accepted another call to serve. As a new covenant daughter of God, you made a promise and received an assignment in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which you were then confirmed a member. You covenanted with God to take upon yourself the name of Jesus Christ, to keep His commandments, and to serve Him.

For each one who makes these covenants, the service that the Lord calls him or her to do will be suited perfectly to that person. The covenant daughters and sons of God, however, all share one important and joyful call. It is to serve others for Him. “To help another human being reach one’s celestial potential is part of the divine mission of woman. As mother, teacher, or nurturing Saint, she molds living clay to the shape of her hopes. In partnership with God, her divine mission is to help spirits live and souls be lifted. This is the measure of her creation. It is ennobling, edifying, and exalting.” You cannot know when, or for what length of time, your personal mission will be focused on service in calls such as mother, leader, or ministering sister. The Lord, out of love, does not leave us the choice of the timing, duration, or sequence of our assignments. Yet you know from scripture and living prophets that all of these assignments will come, either in this life or in the next, to every daughter of God. And all of them are preparation for eternal life in loving families— “the greatest of all the gifts of God.”  

You remember President Nelson’s perfect description of a woman’s divine mission—including her mission of mothering: “As mother, teacher, or nurturing Saint, she molds living clay to the shape of her hopes. In partnership with God, her divine mission is to help spirits live and souls be lifted. This is the measure of her creation.” Becoming a covenant woman in partnership with God is how great and good daughters of God have always mothered, led, and ministered, serving in whatever way and place He has prepared for them.” And then the light! I understood! Mathew 25:40

Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

These have all been pictures of times when we have been of service to others, to show our love. Our gifts of love to Christ. Christmas pictures.

Be a Firebird

“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So, collapse.

Crumble.

This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.”

My daughter has this quote on the desk where she paints. She reminds me often that some works of art are created with a lot of time, patience and trial. Some don’t quite look like she had planned. Some are different but just as interesting, and some quite dramatic.

This week I will be having my fourth joint replacement and I am getting very nervous about it.

Why? You ask! I’ve done it before and survived. It’s old hat. But I know people around me that didn’t do as well. People who, having done one, will never try it again. I trust my medical team. I trust my husband. I trust the Lord to help me through. Do I trust my body, my mind, my heart, to do what I need to achieve my best? It’s going to be a new procedure, and I’m not sure how I will cope with it. I am prepared. The freezer is full of easy to finish meals. The laundry is done, there is a stack of books to read; three quilts to bind; and four project bags.  Even the cats are prepped and prepared to cuddle, or chase me around the fireplace on my walker, as I try to exercise.

My therapists ask me what my goal is. For the first knee it was to skip. The first hip was to walk well enough to make that hike to Missouri for the 2^nd coming. The second hip’s goal was to walk without my cane. This time it is to go back to the temple by the first of February. I think my goals are starting to get more important and more achievable. I think my first goal will to be able to put on my left sock!

We all come to points in our lives where we need to be reborn, to feel like we are worth something. Don’t let discouragement get you down. Collapse, yes, momentarily. Crumble, a little, then work yourself back to standing tall. Be reborn a brave, better, revitalized, woman of faith. Be a Fire bird!

Seasoning

Winter

Bear claws

Digging into the earth

Scrunching autumn leaves;

Acorns

Sinking into rain-softened ground;

Traveling flocks

Circling in the crisp morning air

Squirrels

Chipmunks

Raccoons

Preparing for a long winter season.

And I

With my cocoa

Huddle under my next quilt

 

It was so cold this morning. A co-worker of my husband’s came down to New Mexico to escape a storm brewing in Colorado. Surprise!! I guess he brought the snow with him. The world is spinning, sometimes out of control. The seasons seem to fly through time as if they were on fast forward. Remember how slow life was when we were five. “just a few more minutes! “mo’um!” Now what I thought was a few months ago was a year or two. My curious three-year-old is in her thirties. And I am way past doing backwards somersaults. Winter is coming, the moisture ladened clouds hover over the tips of the mountain range. The cranes, calling to each other in the morning, are back. Pumpkin is in everything, Black Friday came before Halloween! and its time to plan Thanksgiving Day dinners.  I feel like I’m being rushed. I feel like I’m always on the wrong side be it politics or society. And I am getting old! Am I doing everything my god wants me to?

Before your season gets too stressed. Sit in front of your fireplace, relax a minute and remember….

John 14:27

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

May all of your seasons give you joy!

PENNIES

PENNIES

Please don’t take the pennies!

I learned to count with pennies.

They are my history.

One, two, three,

Look at me.

Four, five, six,

A tower to fix.

Seven, eight, nine,

Ten

Makes a dime.

Not enough for ice cream

Anymore
 

Shh

Quiet

 

Shhh

Quiet

Where are the noises of yesterday?

Trucks rumbling, growling, up the hill

Braking noisily again at the bottom.

Shh

Where are the birds?

No sweet singing

No honking in flight

No buzzing of bees and humming birds.

Shh

Where are the calls of children, laughing on their

Way to school

Playing tag in the neighborhood,

Kick the can and mother may I

Shh

Where are the dogs?

Yapping at passersby

Howling at strangers

Growling with a stick in their mouths

Wrestling

shh

I am alone

And its too

Quiet

Shh

I Dreamed About You

I dreamed about you last night!

 

But then I dream a lot, some crazy, some vivid. I remember, as a child listening to the story of the child Samuel, having a particular dream.  He was living with the priest, Eli, when he heard someone call him by name. He got up and ran to Eli saying, “I’m here. Thou callest me.” Eli said he hadn’t and sent him back to bed. After this happened three times Eli told Samuel that it was the Lord calling him and to say “Speak Lord for thy servant heareth.”  I had many dreams over the years hearing a voice yell “Wendy!” I sat up, and yelled What? I wonder what I missed out on!

Do dreams really mean anything?

While we enjoy recalling our dreams the following day, some people think it’s important to decipher if there’s any significance in dream meanings.  My daughter has a book of dreams, and sometimes I call her us to see what my dreams mean. Remember dreaming that you got to school and forgot to do your homework. That means you feel unprepared. There are many different theories when it comes to whether dreams mean something and most of those theories offer different views.

One neuro-biological theory of dreaming is the Activation-Synthesis Hypothesis.  The theory states that dreams don’t actually mean anything. Instead they are merely electrical brain impulses that pull random thoughts and imagery from our memories.

Renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud thought otherwise. He believed that dreams revealed unconsciously repressed conflicts or wishes.  Therefore, according to Freud, your dreams reveal your repressed wishes to you.

Another theory is the Threat Simulation Theory, which describes dreams as a defense mechanism our brains put in place to prepare us for scary events. This allows us to face our fears.

Another thought is it’s a way to solve a worry. As you peacefully sleep your brain searches for a possible answer. I like this one. It’s always nice to have a plan. One day a coworker called me at home and asked for help planning a church children’s party. I was so tired I told her I would call her back in 15 minutes. As I lay on the couch, I quickly fell asleep and dreamed about the party. In fifteen minutes, I called her back and outlined the program. She thought I was brilliant!

In Biblical times we read of many times that messages are sent from God to Man in a dream; Jacob’s ladder, Joseph taking the Christ child to Egypt for safety, Joseph’s interpretation of the Pharaoh’s dream, etc. Does God still care about us? Is He still sending messages to us? Do we say Yea Lord, I am here? Or do we yell “What?” And go back to sleep.

Last night I dreamed about you. What can I do for you?

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Harvest

The Harvest

Peaches,

Hanging golden globes;

Pears

Swelling, rosy cheeked;

Tomatoes

Juicy, ripe, begging to be eaten;

Apples

Falling to the ground

With a bounce in their step.

We

Yearning to gather them in,

Savor them. 

Our Father

Providing our bounty,

Yearns to gather us too

In His harvest.

Some of us

Are in a pickle

                                              The  Pickle 

I woke up at 3:30 am and started thinking about pickles.

You take a sweet innocent English cucumber,

And right away it gets into hot water.

Then it gets salt rubbed into its wounds.

Bitter herbs are tossed into the mix.

Days of alternating sweet and sour experiences affect its life.

A short moment of added pressure seals the deal.

And you have a cucumber with character to enrich your life

Ahh August! The Harvest is approaching

Do you enjoy reaping the bounty of your efforts. I guess 2014 was the last year I actually could stand and preserve things with my daughters help. Now I dry my apples. I guess as I get older and wrinkly, my preservation techniques do too! Have a happy Harvest!

Count Your Blessings

 

Two weeks ago, I woke up with this hymn running through my head every morning; just the first and fourth verses. Contemplating the words, I decided my mother must be sending me a message from Heaven.

Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Text: Johnson Oatman Jr., 1856–1922            Music: Edwin O. Excell, 1851–1921

I have been using my hands for a lot of small muscle work lately; computer, cell phone texting, quilting, crocheting, etc. These things give me pleasure and help me create ways to give my love to others. However, repetitive small muscle movements do put a strain on arthritic wrists and fingers. One morning I couldn’t lift my left arm. I couldn’t wiggle my fingers. My husband had to dress me. It was so depressing and embarrassing! I had things I needed to do!

Following protocol for the situation, I used heat, ice, gentle exercise and rest. I read a lot of books. Visiting my hair stylist for a shorter, easier to handle haircut, I was telling her all the things I couldn’t do. She commiserated with me because of her carpel tunnel syndrome. As I turned to leave, I had a thought and said, “I’ve always put all these things in front of doing a painting. I’m going to paint.” “it’s a blessing!” As they say, when one door closes, open a window.

What do you do when someone or something prevents you or makes it difficult for you to accomplish your goal? Do the dark forces have their eye on you to discourage you from doing a good thing? What’s your backup plan?

In an old conference talk, Attitude of Gratitude, president Thomas S Monson said,

A popular refrain from the 1940s captured the thought:

Accentuate the positive;

Eliminate the negative.

Latch on to the affirmative;

Don’t mess with Mr. In-between

May your week be filled with love and gratitude as you go through your life.

This morning I woke up with my Social Security number running through my head. What do you suppose that means?

Learning! I Can Do It Myself

 

I feel like I’m in the middle of a game of telephone. You remember the game we played when we were young. Everyone sits in a row and the first person whispers something in the next person’s ear. This continues down the line to the last person. He then tells everyone what he heard. We would compare it with what the first person said. It was funny the difference we heard. I always suspected someone changed the message purposely.

Today was irrigation day and my husband was out of town. So, he asked neighbor D to turn it on for me and then I could pass it on. Last night neighbor J1 called after I was in bed and told me my driveway was flooded. Humm, what’s going on? She called neighbor J2 and I called neighbor D who told me that the arrangement had changed around. J2 would go first, I was second and neighbor L was third. This morning I awoke to a flooded yard. When I had my fill, I passed it on to Neighbor L. All is well in my world…. until neighbor J2 called to find out why I hadn’t called him to pass on the water. It was a major communication gap.

First, I wonder about my communication skills and then about his health. Is something going on in his life that confuses his mind?

I need to be more mindful of my neighbors. I tend to hole up in my home and let the rest of the world pass me by, especially when I’m stranded. I need to take action myself instead of letting others make my decisions and tell me about it. Like the telephone game, sometimes the message goes astray.

Now being the political season, we hear things that may or may not be true. Who can you believe? Everyone says “Fake news, Fake news” Who do you trust?

At church we have implemented Home Based learning, supplemented by church-based discussions. In the same way that I need to take responsibility for my own life, I am responsible for my own learning.

Elder David A. Bednar taught: “As learners, you and I are to act and be doers of the word and not simply hearers who are only acted upon. Are you and I agents who act and seek learning by faith, or are we waiting to be taught and acted upon? … A learner exercising agency by acting in accordance with correct principles opens his or her heart to the Holy Ghost and invites His teaching, testifying power, and confirming witness. Learning by faith requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception” (“Seek Learning by Faith,” Ensign, Sept. 2007, 64).

What have you always wanted to learn? I use to take a class each year after I graduated from college, just to keep up with continual learning, and stretching my mind. My first class was learning to paint with watercolor. Now I read a myriad of books on different subjects and peruse the computer. I just found out that July is world water color month! And I have a new paintbrush!! Join me in learning something new. Or, it is also National Ice Cream month. If you’d rather.

climate change

May has a lot of  remembrance months to celebrate. One we enjoy is Date your Mate month. Instead of Friday night date nights, we enjoy Monday morning breakfasts. It seems like

many other older people do too as we see a lot of them having breakfast in the same places we go. The restaurants also seem to think we all want to listen to 50’s and 60’s music. Well we do, but still—This month as we were heading home past the senior center, we saw a sign reminding us that May is “Older Americans Month. We had to chuckle. We are older but don’t feel like we have hit the elderly button yet. Most of the time we don’t notice special treatment except for people rushing to open doors, “take your time sweetheart!”

When I was young I always planned to do my Genealogy when I got old well—

I shouldn’t have waited so long because it is actually turning out to be fun! Although now it’s a lot easier because technology has advanced so much. The other day I got a notice on my computer that there was information about an ancestor of mine and I went to see what was happening. My father’s older brother’s grand daughter had added a story.

“The Gardner name stems from the Gordon Clan of Scotland who had the Great Duke of Gordon for its head. I found this from reading about Blane Gardner's grandfathers here on Family Search. My Mother, Ivy Rebecca Gardner, would tell me her Father, Blane Gardner, told her their last name of Gardner came about as a result of their family being Gardeners for kings! I've always thought that amazing! “

I think this is exciting, because we have all felt the call to plant something, wherever we live. Even my black thumbed daughter finally has a place she can dig in the dirt.  My mom always told us that every garden will add oxygen to the air around us and help the CO2 / O2 ratio. So, do your little part to fight climate change. Plant a tree or a pot of tomatoes. Recycle, and get a recyclable bag or two for the grocery store. And,     celebrate with an older American!

Stand and Stare

Alas it is nearly the end of April and I have neglected writing my thoughts to you.

My excuse, weak as it was, I had foot surgery the first of the month and haven’t felt much like doing anything but reading and whining.

April is an interesting month for me first, because my mother’s birthday was last Sunday. She would have been 104 years old, though in the end she wasn’t interested in being that. She was my biggest mentor. I remember that she had a book on the table where she could always reach it—a poem a day. I don’t know if it’s the same one my daughter now has or if it is with my sister.

The second is, April is National Poetry Month. National Poetry Month, a celebration of poetry which takes place each April, was introduced in 1996 and is organized by the Academy of American Poets as a way to increase awareness and appreciation of poetry in the United States.

And I almost missed it. My daughter sent me one of the poems for a day this last week.

LEISURE

What is this life’ if full of care

We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass

No time to see, in broad daylight

Streams full stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at beauty’s glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began

A poor life this, if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

W.H. Davies

It reminded her of me she said! Do you supposed that I sit and stare mindlessly sometimes?

Or is she remembering lying side by side in the grass watching cloud pictures forming in the sky, or walking in the evening to watch the sunset? Do you remember doing things like that as a child or with your children? Go spend some time this spring enjoying nature. Stand and stare. Or try writing or reading a poem.

One of my favorites I wrote in May 2005

Snowman

There’s a snowman out my window

And I wish he’d go away

I think it’s just disgusting

 That he’s still here in May

On a Bad Day

On a Bad Day

Seven hundred thousand mornings

Nineteen hundred eighteen years

Twenty seven and one half lifetimes

Roughly nineteen million fears

Overcome the World

Overcome the World

I knelt in the temple 

Praying

Please God

No more hard things

Please, not yet.

I’m not ready again yet

I’ve had enough experience

I murmured pleadingly.

I was determined to have my way.

In that quiet

Holy place

Filled with pensive pondering

I felt peace overcome my spirit

Joy flickered around the corners 

Of my pain.

Thy will be done,

I whispered

I accept

“Rejoice my child

I won’t ask this of you”--

This time