Sunday, September 18, 2016

The Fiddler's Wife

One of my favorite songs in high school had words which I took to heart and made my mantra. “Won’t be my father’s Jack, won’t be my mother’s Jill.
I’m going to be a fiddler’s wife, and fiddle where I will.” And that became my life-
Jack of all trades, and master of none.

I was looking on Wikipedia today for the name of an acquaintance and co-worker of my husband’s. I learned things about him that  didn’t know and it was interesting.
Just for fun I put my name in not expecting to see anything. But still it was sad to see that I didn’t exist!  That was as bad as when I looked for myself on Google a few years ago and learned that I had no friends! It makes me reflect back over my life and wonder if I have done what I was sent here to do or am I just taking up space on this planet of ours.
What did I want to do with my life? I thought of being a teacher or a nurse. That and secretary were the three things that most schools encourage women to do in life. There were women scientists,  actresses, and  shop keepers, sure, but women weren’t encouraged to be doctors and CEO’s much. It was better than when my mother was in school though. She wanted to be an architect but no school would let her attend classes for that. She settled for Landscape architecture and after being the first woman to graduate from her school in that discipline, got a job where she was hired by her initials so they could pay her as much as a man. My neighbor of the same age, wanted to be a conductor of a symphony, but her school said, “We could NEVER let a woman do that! The scandal!”

The thing I really wanted to do was be a wife and mother. I graduated in Home Economics Education because I would always have a job. If not for pay,then  in my home with a family. And I did use my training with family, church youth groups, girl scouts, women’s organizations and after school programs.
I read a quote from Gordon B. Hinckley the other day.

“I believe our problems, almost every one, arise out of the homes of the people. If there is to be reformation, if there is to be a change, if there is to be a return to old and sacred values, it must begin in the home. It is here that truth is learned, that integrity is cultivated, that self-discipline is instilled and that love is nurtured—Gordon B. Hinckley
So what do we need to know to teach this to our families?

Susan W. Tanner, former Young Women general president, taught: “Our Father in Heaven exemplifies the pattern we should follow. He loves us, teaches us, is patient with us, and entrusts us with our agency. … Sometimes discipline, which means ‘to teach,’ is confused with criticism. Children—as well as people of all ages—improve behavior from love and encouragement more than from fault-finding.”
Yesterday I saw something on my daughter’s face book page  that made me smile.

“One day, when my children are grown, I hope they still come through that front door without knocking. I hope they head to the kitchen for a snack, and rifle through the mail looking for a magazine they always read. I hope they come in and feel the weight of adulthood leave them, for they are home. For my children, my door will forever be open. Above all else, I hope they know this without me telling them.
Love speaks clearly enough
-The Train To Crazy.-
I guess I do exist

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