Empathy

I

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense of being really needed and wanted which gives us the greatest satisfaction and creates the most lasting bond—Eleanor Roosevelt—

It took me a few minutes to convince my husband that this is true. I wonder who he is bonding to? and  why?

But think about it for a moment. We love and serve our husband and children, daily, many of us for their whole lives. Doesn’t it make sense that our feelings toward them are strong? As they get older and need more help from us, don’t our feelings for our aging parents grow stronger and more tender?  As I get older and have health issues, I ask my husband for more care, and I feel his love growing deeper and stronger.

The same goes for our neighbors. Thursday, my husband took the trash to the curb and left town. It was my job to bring the containers back Friday morning. What a sight! A bent old lady on a walker trying to pull the empty containers back up the road to the house. One neighbor drove by in his truck, smiled, and waved. The other ran across the cul-de-sac, grabbed both trolleys and sprinted into the garage. Who do you think I have the greater bond with!

What the world needs now (to borrow from a favorite song) is a little empathy.

Look at people fleeing their homes to protect their families be it from floods, fires, or political systems. Can you feel what they might be feeling as you think of your friends and families?

What can you do? How can you feel empathy?

1.    Empathy requires understanding their situation. The first neighbor is younger and new to the neighborhood.

2.     Imagine how you would feel if in the same situation. What would you wish someone would do for you?

3.    Respond—How do we respond? We don’t necessarily need to fix the problem. Sometimes just the knowledge that we care can lift and strengthen the person by showing that we care. They are not alone.

Some days I sit alone in my studio, feeling sorry for myself and wonder, what can I do to lighten someone’s burden? How can I show the love I feel for my fellow men? Check out JustServe.com. There are many options around town, wherever you live. Be aware of needs in your neighborhoods and help. As for me, well chocolate chip cookies are always good!

Burrr!

 It has been so cold. What ever happened to Puxatony Phil and ‘it’s going to be a short winter this year’? I guess “they” have to cram the last cold days of winter into a shorter time making them more intense?

  I’m so cold that when I complained that my metal hips were hurting, my sister started calling me “Old Ironsides” 

This week in our Sunday school class our teacher has an option of asking, what makes you happy? I asked my husband and he said being content that we are living Christ’s teachings and doing good in the world.

So—What makes you happy?

Happiness can be tricky. It is hard to define and harder to achieve. Mary Pipher says “Neither genetics nor our external circumstances determine our happiness. Rather happiness depends on how we deal with what we are given. We develop the skills of building joy, gratitude, and meaning into every day. By learning these lessons, we cultivate emotional resilience. We have the capacity to build happiness into our lives with humor concern for others, and gratitude.

I think-- I love to create. After all we are God’s, The Great Creator’s children. We are born in His  image. We all have something we like to create, be it a new dish for our families; a smile on our children’s faces; a beautiful garden; or as another friend, a nurse, told me, working to restore good health to one of her patients.

One day, after reading my cousin’s unhappy post on Facebook, I texted my daughter, that something was wrong with me. I was generally happy in a world filled with woe.

I learned today that I am in my second adulthood. I think I’ve heard about people being in their second childhood and it didn’t seem to be a compliment. What do you suppose second adulthood means? Maybe it just means finding a better compass for happiness.

Reading the NY times last week, I learned that “Women of the age 65 to 79 are the happiest demographic in America. Look at all the older women who are running for office and heading up corporations.

 I’ve just started a new book by Mary Pipher called WOMEN ROWING NORTH Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age. So far, it’s an interesting read.

It begins with “I turned seventy this year. Women in their sixties and early seventies are crossing a border and everything interesting happens at borders.”

As spring, and a new month approach think about what makes you happy and enjoy spending some time doing that thing. And then think about what makes your neighbor, your family, your Savior, happy. Spend some quality time with them too. 

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Come

Come

The old cowboy said

Come to the well

Come drink 

The living water.

Life today

Can parch our spirit

The deep well

The Holy temple

Brings us renewal

Nourishes our souls

Keeps us connected

Come to Gods well spring

Prime the pump

And drink deeply

Come.

don't give up

I have a friend who a couple of months ago was diagnosed with leukemia. I’ve been thinking of him today, and praying for him.

This morning I got out a notebook which I had started when I was sixteen. I wanted to show it to my daughter and laugh at all the pictures of when I was a little girl and teen ager. A quote that was stuck in the book fell out. I was visited by my teen-age self! Little did I know then how much I would need this quote in my elder years.

“I am bigger than any thing that can happen to me. All these things, sorrow, misfortune and suffering are outside my door. I am in the house and I have the key.”

                                                                                                --Lumis—

Life has gotten frightening over the last fifty years or so. Many experiences have happened that none of us would have chosen. Having faith that we will be able to control how we feel about these experiences and grow from them is worth developing.

I remember when my daughter was born—At one point I told my husband that I had changed my mind. I didn’t want to go through this anymore. But then when she was placed into my arms, I felt immeasurable joy. How glad I was that I had endured to the end.

Today while preparing for church tomorrow I read;

Romans 8

18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Do I choose to endure?

Or give up?

Do I choose to feel faith?

 Or doom?

Do I choose to flee to the world

Or smile, and stay safe

In loves room.

What do you choose?

Think About it!

Ice crystals

Dotting the sidewalks,

Bells ringing

Brightly on a quiet night,

Calling all

To worship,

To peace.

In the moonlight

Families gather

Dreams of good will

Universal love

Peace on earth.

Are we too late?

anniversary

It is lovely to be

Nearly one skin,

Not knowing

Quite where you leave off

And I begin—

Like a watercolor

That runs the flow

Of sea and sky.

Some mystic brush

Has been at work,

Erasing lines, Embracing spaces,

Bordering us only by bliss.

I want never again

To know where you leave off

And I begin.

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Thankful

November is nearly over and we have much to be grateful for . I hope you had a lovely holiday. Our family has all grown and left so we have a lonelier dinner. We did have my brother and sister-in-law over, and had fun and lots of pies. Everyone seems to like a different kind!

Aren’t we all like that in our lives. We have just gotten through another election where everyone seems to be more invested in their own needs and wants instead of sharing and caring about the greater good.

I think this stress was affecting my life in some way. I have been living in fear. I have awakened each morning for the last few months with a song running through my mind. It was Oh Come Thou King of Kings by Parley P. Pratt who happens to be my great-great Grandfather

 1. Come, O thou King of Kings!

We've waited long for thee,

With healing in thy wings,

To set thy people free.

Come, thou desire of nations, come;

Let Israel now be gathered home.

 2. Come, make an end to sin,

And cleanse the earth by fire,

And righteousness bring in,

That Saints may tune the lyre

With songs of joy, a happier strain,

To welcome in thy peaceful reign.

Was my grandfather sending me a message? I looked up the scripture that accompanied the hymn in our hymnal

Isaiah 35:10

10 And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

And I felt a sense of peace. I could give up worrying about what the world is doing. God has it. Whatever is going to happen to our country, our world, we will be able to trust in God to help us get through it.

Now I wake every morning with a different song running through my mind. We sang in on Thanksgiving in my husband’s church’s service. My favorite line is,

“All is mine for I am His. How can I keep from singing?”

I give thanks to have you in my life, and having the opportunity to put my thoughts on paper.